Hi there, how have you been so far? I hope everything went well, according to what you planned. But, if there’s something that doesn’t go well, just don’t give up, get up and cheer, it doesn’t mean that you failed to do or get something you want, but there’s something better awaiting you in the future ;)

I really really wanna study medic. I’ve been thinking about this ever since I was in standard 5. Why in standard 5? I think that was 2007, when Dr Muszaphar, Malaysia’s very first astronaut, was launched to ISS (International Space Station). If you read my previous entry, you will realise that there’s one entry that I wrote about him. But in case you just read my blog so I just write in short about him here. Dr Muszaphar is an orthopaedic surgeon; he’s a medical officer at HUKM (Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia). He was an ex MRSM Muar student, which influenced me to study at MRSM when I was in form 1, and I even wanted to apply Muar but my mother didn’t let me to do so. Dr Muszaphar had his astronautical training at Moscow, Russia.

I just finished my foundation years and right now I’m pursuing biomedical science degree. But, biomedical science isn’t the same as medic. It’s kinda related but it’s not related. If I still wanna be a doctor, I have to add another 4 years to be a doctor. So I will have two degrees though. Biomedical science and medic. I applied for this course after I got good results in my MARA trial SPM exam. My results qualified me to apply for Skim Pelajar Cemerlang (SPC), I did wanna apply medic, but I didn’t get an A for my bio, I got B+ *sob sob*. To apply medic, I gotta get straight A’s for my trial. And trial MARA is damn hard and idk what to comment about that haha. So yeah, I didn’t apply for medic instead I applied for biomedical science at Nottingham bcs I thought they both are related.

And after SPM, I did wanna apply for medic using my SPM results, but I felt afraid to do so bcs I already got the SPC from MARA, and if I wanna apply for something else, I’m afraid that that would make it complicated. Yeah I know I’m being afraid of something I’m not sure about but yeah, silly me. Pathetic, I know. So I didn’t apply and continue study biomed and I became more unsure about this course, I became less excited to study bcs I kept thinking about medic course. I think this is what they said about identity crisis. Teenagers, hesitate and not sure to make decision.

After I finished foundy, I searched for medic course in the internet, and found one consultant and I contacted her and she told me the total cost to study medic at Russia is RM260k (after converting Russia USD currency to MYR), which is wayyyy much more cheaper than my biomed course. And I became more excited to know that the course is in Russia, place that I wanna study medic so so much. I asked some of my friends about changing course. Most of the people I asked succeed in changing their course. I then called MARA but didn’t get proper reply from them. I called them again and still the same respond. I tried to call them again and still the same results.

So yesterday I went to MARA HQ to meet the Bahagian Penganjuran Pelajaran in charged person to ask about my enquiry. After explained to him about my situation, he then said that I can’t change my course. Firstly, to apply medic using foundation results (fyi, Nottingham and Monash univ use percentage in our transcript, not pointer), I have to meet 80% average, which is very far from my results. And even if I passed that 80% average requirement, I have to wait for next year application. Secondly, it will make it complicated as I have to change university and they already paid for my degree year at notts. I then said to him that I don’t want to apply medic under mara, I want to apply the private one, just that I want to apply sponsorship from MARA, because they already had allocation from me, and I just wanna use that allocation, it’s just that I wanna change course and university. I even presented to him the total cost to study medic at Russia. He then said it can’t be done that way. If I wanna reapply the sponsorship, I have to wait for next year, after the scheme application is opened. But he then added, “If you want your pathway goes smooth, you just have to abide and follow the agreement”.

So in short, I can’t change my course.

And I was really not in the mood yesterday on my way back home. I felt really disappointed. I didn’t answer my mom’s question when I reached home, I straight went to my room and sit and tears fell upon my cheeks. Seriously though, I wanna study medic. So much.

And at that night, I scrolled my Instagram, and found this,

I felt better after that, I feel like I have a new life, haha. I feel like, I’m okay with what I went through just now, I just have to go on and move on, I just have to follow the path He planned for me, I just have to believe in Him that this is the best He gives me ;) I felt optimist after that, LIKE SERIOUSLY! I felt that, “it’s okay to continue medic after getting degree in biomedic, I can have two degree scrolls in my hand, hewhew”.

So yeah, what I wanna tell you guys is, it’s not that you failed, maybe your past made your future doesn’t go well, but don’t curse your past, you just have to go with the flow, follow through, believe in Him, try to do the best you can, and let Him do the rest you can't. Assalamualaikum.