frust
January 07, 2015
sometimes, I feel it's much better for me to apply monash
rather than nottingham.
those spc thingy, sigh
don't call it spc if it's not fast-track program, please,
MARA.
oh fyi, fast-track program is like you can get your degree
faster than anyone else in the same batch. get it? say that your course is for 4
years, starting at 2014. you will enter college early, maybe at jan or feb 2014
before spm results released, finish your foundation etc etc on july 2014,
started degree on sept or oct 2014, graduating your course on jan or feb 2018.
compared to those who are not taking fast-track, they will enter college on
july 2014, and graduating on july 2018. so you who take fast-track graduated
faster than them, and you can get job earlier than them, and you can have your
salary quicker than them.
so yeah.
this is one of the factors why I don’t like being here at
nottingham. I'm frustrated about that fast-track thingy. can you imagine, I
entered this college early, feb 2014, even before spm results were announced. but
ended up will be graduating the same with those who entered five months later
after me.
damn it.
I felt really regret. why didn’t I just apply monash
arghhhhh. at monash, I can be at sunway college for only two years, and fly to
australia for two years. fast-track some more.
at nottingham? I am stucked here at malaysia campus for
three years, fly to uk for oly a year, which is my final year. and not
fast-track some more. shit, right?
so why did I apply for nottingham then? because I THOUGHT it
is fast-track program! :)
and other factors that im not really happy about is friends
here.
I even barely made friends here. its not that I didn’t try
to make friends, but theyre all with their own cliques. I started my new
semester enthusiastically, I entered class whole-heartedly, then I saw some
empty seats and asked the girl next to it, 'boleh duduk sini tak?", she
replied, "sorry, dah ada orang.", with a nice smile on her face.
then I asked the other girl at some other empty seats and
the same answers falling upon me. end up, I gave up. on that day. gave up on
that day. I tried to make new friends the next day. what the helllllll the same
thing happened again and I was like, WHAAAT is going on here with yall, seat
hoarding?
seat hoarding is not that bad actually, but its bad when you
save the seats for your friends who is coming late, sometimes so real late, and
not allowing other people to sit together with you to befriend with you.
Damn. Real damn.
you know what, I felt jealous when I see other people with their
friends. I just felt jealous. its not that im jealous because I want them to be
my clingy friends, but just because they have friends. sometimes I even asked
in my head, how do they make friends?
I got friends, but I don’t have real one. I don’t know. I
feel like crying.
I wasn’t like who I am right now back then in maktab. at
maktab, everyone knows me, and I know everyone too. I have friends, so many
friends, and even I have a lot of real friends. I didn’t even feel awkward when
I was with someone who wasn’t close with me enough back then in maktab.
I wonder why I couldn’t be like that here. at this
nottingham.
why
just why?
im not that kind of person who showed or expressed my
feelings that much if im 'terasa' or whatsoever. but all I can say is that Im
actually spoiled inside. but I barely show it off. only those who know me well
will notice that.
which,
those who know me well only exist at maktab.
even if someone is teasing me and saying stuff, which for
them that’s a joke, if its really mean to me, I accidentally would take it to
heart. and it happens, actually. mostly in nottingham. haha. funny.
for example,
1) I copied and pasted something which I felt funny, to my
Nottingham Malaya whatsapp group. hoping someone to respond at least a
"haha" or else (for that I felt like I wanna laugh with someone that
day). and I waited for like 5 mins, no one respond. and suddenly, someone
replied, "Har", followed by other person, "kannnn, hambar kan.
aku pernah baca dah ni. tak lawak pun do." dammmn I was like, idk what my
feelings were at that time, I was, speechless man, haha. Im sorry for not being
such a funny person. But im also not really someone who is serious all the
time. And most importantly, bcs they know that I usually wouldn’t take it to
heart, they just merely say it without any ‘filter’.
2) I don’t really have other examples bcs maybe those thing
had always happened that I couldn’t realize that anymore but the first example
just happened yesterday so I feel like spitting it out. GERAM!
0 comments